It has been 5 years now. It should seem like a long time.
It seems like only yesterday.
Today I was trying to think of what I could be doing in your memory, being that has been 5 YEARS. - I thought about trudging through the snow at the cemetery since it was such a beautiful day, I thought about Blogging, and I thought about the kids...That was the hardest. It always is. So often (when I am by myself) usually driving to or from work, staying up late at night on the computer, or the aftermath of a holiday get together - I will fall apart wishing I could still hear you.
When report cards came out and Kyle didn't do so hot, I wanted to hear you say there was nothing to worry about, and then we could have complained about his teachers, and you would have assured me that "he'll come on to it, you'll see". I also wanted to hear you congratulate Greg on his outstanding report card and tell him he was " smart just like his old gramp".
Vivian turned 5 this year - one of the last babies you whispered to - she is growing into such a sweet girl and I want to hear you tell me how she reminds you of me. And the fact that you never got to hold Kerrigan at all makes me so sad - you would be getting a real kick out her these days. you'd say "she's a pisser". and get a chuckle.
I didn't go to the cemetery, But I think we were all right where you would have wanted us. Doing just what you would want us to. We were having cake and ice cream to celebrate Grammas 85th and your great great granddaughter's 3rd birthdays. I waited until now - 2:00 in the morning to finally fall apart about it, like I said, I was thinking I should have done something for just you. But Corin reminded me that while we were at the farm today it was nice that we listened to "your music" for a bit. Hopefully you could hear it too....
3 years ago, a psychic informed me that I was pregnant with our 3rd baby. As my jaw dropped to the floor, she told me I was always meant to have 3 children-that In a past life, I had died in childbirth with my 3rd child, so in this life, "my present life" I had another chance to get it right.
In my efforts to get it right this time, I married my highschool sweetheart, we have 3 beautiful children, we juggle the daily routines of working opposite shifts, kids school schedules, and enjoy every moment of this life we are presently living!